


rule of three

by kyloben10



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Tragedy, Canon Compliant, Canon Related, Canon Universe, Commander Erwin Smith, Confessional, Confessions, Criminal Zeke Yeager, Erwin - Freeform, Erwin Smith-centric, Erwin Week, Final Battle, Flash Fic, Flash Forward, Flashbacks, Growing Up, Heavy Angst, Hurts So Good, Inspired by Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan, Last Day On Earth, Mentioned Zeke Yeager, Military, Military Background, Murder, POV Erwin Smith, Past Lives, Past Relationship(s), Past Violence, Pining, Regret, Rocks Fall Everyone Dies, Scout Regiment, Season/Series 03, Shingeki no Kyojin Chapter 84: Midnight Sun Spoilers, Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan References, Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan Season/Series 03, Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan Season/Series 03 Spoilers, Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan Spoilers, Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan-Typical Violence, Sorry again, The Author Regrets Everything, The Author Regrets Nothing, Zeke Yeager Being an Asshole, and so many tags, except it’s erwin pining for the basement, in case you couldn’t tell, need i elaborate, so many feeings, this fic is a coping mechanism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-06
Updated: 2021-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-12 13:34:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 763
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29885337
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kyloben10/pseuds/kyloben10
Summary: In the face of a seemingly inescapable suicide charge, Erwin is forced to recall the things his father taught him as a child in order to find the will to continue.
Relationships: No Romantic Relationship(s)





	rule of three

**Author's Note:**

> for extra dramatic effect, you could try listening to this while you read: https://youtu.be/BzsrqaLgdpk  
> (it’s lacrimosa by mozart if you can’t open the link)

Commander Erwin’s father was a great intellectual. He would take one look at the world they were living in and wonder why it had to remain that way. Throughout his childhood Erwin’s father taught him three things of note. Once the child was old enough to understand, his father would attempt to communicate his ideas to him, through hushed, candlelit whispers, scribbled musings and diagrams in the early hours of the morning. His driving force was the belief that humanity had survived beyond the walls, and so Erwin believed him. This was the first lesson he learned from his father.

The second teaching was the importance of silence. On one sober morning Erwin hurried out of bed at the chatter of the city bells, bursting with excitement, eager to tell all of his school friends about all of the incredible things his father had shown him the previous night. He tugged at their tailcoats, eyes like saucers, the knowledge spilling from his naive lips. When he returned home a few days later, his father was nowhere to be seen. Although at such a young age he did not fully understand the reason for his father’s disappearance, from that point onwards he began to surround himself with walls that not even the colossal titan could demolish. Erwin soon learned the value of hiding one’s true intentions.

Each time the shrouded cart carrying the men lost from the previous scouting expedition used to roll morosely through the streets of Maria, Erwin would hear the senile washer-women opposite his house murmur about how it’s possible to see your life flash before your eyes as you die. With the mountain of corpses atop the cart as a macabre backdrop, Erwin usually dismissed it as fanciful and disrespectful nonsense. Indeed, now, as the wind whipped around him, holding him securely in place like the walls he grew up surrounded by and chilling him to the bone, the Commander attempted to train his eyes not on the past, but the future.

You may be wondering what the final thing Erwin’s father taught him was. That particular moral pillar was reinforced whenever Erwin came home frustrated that his father would not allow him to share his epiphany with anyone else, or if he was tired of school, of seeing a few too many corpses piled up in the cart returning with the scouts. Each time his father would remind him that no matter what happens along the way, no matter how many people lay down their lives, it is essential to keep the end goal in mind. A shared cause, if you will.

And finally, that goal was within Erwin’s reach. That godforsaken basement had always been nestled in the back of his mind but now those answers were close enough to reach out and grasp. The tower of corpses the Commander stood upon was steadily challenging the height of the walls with each charge, and he was beginning to be able to see a slice of light over the top.

With the basement in the back of his mind, Erwin became aware again of his current situation. He was leading the charge against the Beast Titan - and as a Commander, as an honest man, he couldn’t fool himself into believing that there was any chance of escaping this one. He placed himself before these new soldiers and told them to devote their hearts, when his own was devoted to a separate cause.

Up ahead Erwin saw the towering Titan begin to stabilise himself, clutching a handful of shards of rock. Flashing a malevolent grin, he began to gather momentum. The Commander’s horse veered forward, its pace increasing as if desperate to escape, and Erwin tightened his grip on the reins. His father’s lessons crossed his mind once more. Be bold, inquisitive. Hide your true sentiments. Devote yourself to a cause.

‘My soldiers, push forward!’ Erwin bellowed, sensing the legion of soldiers behind him stiffen under his command. Be bold. Question everything.

‘My soldiers, scream out!’ The Beast Titan began his deadly assault, and the Commander was pursued by a cacophony of dissonant groans and prayers. The mountain of corpses below him shifted in anticipation. Hide your true ambition.

‘My soldiers, RAGE!’ Erwin managed, face contorted and lungs burning. The Titan released his grip, the rocks flying towards the Scouts like flaming hellfire. Dedicate your heart to a cause.

The basement was not far off now - he could feel it. As the boulders plummeted towards them, Commander Erwin could only hope that he had done enough to someday see it.

**Author's Note:**

> sorry about this :)


End file.
